If I Died Young
by SparkleLiekYeah
Summary: Hermione wonders if she died during the Battle at Hogwarts.


Title: If I Died Young

Pairing: Harmony

Summary: Set during the Battle of Hogwarts. After a close shave near death, Hermione contemplates if she had been hit by Bellatrix Lestrange's Killing Curse.

* * *

><p>"<em>Avada Kedavra!" <em>Bellatrix Lestrange's screech bounced menacingly around in the Great Hall and for a moment, Time held its breath. A fatal green jet flashed through the air, and Hermione froze, fear evident on her face, caught in midspell.

It missed. By a mere inch. Bellatrix screeched in disappointment and made a move to strike again. However, Molly Weasley wasn't going to let her potentially harm someone who she considered as family. "Oh no you won't!" Molly snapped, wand at ready.

Time resumed its normal flow, and the battle continued on smoothly. Hermione sank to the floor unsteadily, clutching at her heart faintly. Her eyes were wide. She had just evaded death. By an inch. Shakily, she stood up and pulled herself together. Of course! Who wouldn't, in the middle of an intense battle?

So she continued to fight. She cast spell after spell, determined to put it behind her. And she did. Only hours after the momentous battle between Harry Potter and Voldemort, did she remember.

_I nearly died._

The truth hit her full force, and she curled up, and rocked back and forth. _If I was one inch inclined to the right, I would've been dead right now. But….. what would've happened if I did? Oh god._

* * *

><p><em>If I die young, bury me in satin<em>_  
><em>_Lay me down on a bed of roses__  
><em>_Sink me in the river at dawn__  
><em>_Send me away with the words of a love song_

Hermione Jean Granger's dying wishes were simple. She wished to be buried in a simple, white satin dress. She wanted to be covered in roses as she descended the ground. And lastly, she wanted the funeral to be held at dawn and she wanted to be bid farewell with the classic love song Here Without You. She was a romantic at heart, and it would be a perfect, romantic funeral for a perfect, romantic girl.

Would anyone cry? Her mother would of course. And her father. But they would not remember Hermione Jean Granger, for they were now Monica and Wendell Wilkins and they did not know the existence of one Hermione Jean Granger. This saddened her. Even at death, her loving parents would not be able to say farewell.

Would her friends at Hogwarts cry? The know-it-all who died in the midst of war. Would the Weasleys cry? Surely so. Would Harry cry? She would die, without him knowing the true state of her heart. He would live on, not knowing how Hermione Jean Granger loved him, even until the very end. He would probably marry Ginny, and remember only as his best friend who died in war.

* * *

><p><em>Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother<em>_  
><em>_She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and__  
><em>_Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no__  
><em>_Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby_

And if she truly died, she wanted to become a rainbow, to watch over everyone she loved. Her mother, her father, and Harry. And when she saw the rainbow, maybe, maybe, they'd remember her the way she would want to be remembered. And if her mother still had her memory, how would she react? She didn't even have a grey hair on her head, and she was already seeing her daughter being laid six feet under.

And Hermione knew she had to stop this macabre train of thoughts, because she sure as hell did _not_ die, but she just wanted to imagine what would have been…..

* * *

><p><em>The sharp knife of a short life, oh well<em>_  
><em>_I've had, just enough time_

Killed by magic. It was the magic that brought her and her friends together. The very same magic that taught her strength and courage. The magic that brought her to Harry. She knew that magic had a good side and a bad side but it was so heartbreaking to know that what gave you life could very easily take it away from you.

She would never see the sun rise again. She would never see Harry's unrepentant grin. She did not know what death brought afterwards. "_To the organized mind, death is the next great adventure,"_ she had heard Dumbledore tell Harry in first year.

Would she see Dumbledore? What awaited her past that dark, painful abyss of death?

* * *

><p><em>And I'll be wearing white when I come into Your Kingdom<em>_  
><em>_I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger,__  
><em>_I've never known the loving of a man__  
><em>_But it sure felt nice when he was holdin' my hand_

Maybe she'd go to Heaven. She had been raised Catholic. But what a pity! She died young, fresh and innocent. She had barely known the loving of a man, but he was the wrong one. All she experienced from Harry was the occasional hug, and the hand-holding. It was such a waste….. So close, yet so far! He had every opportunity, but he never noticed. Maybe he never would.

_There's a boy here in town says that he'll love me forever__  
><em>_Whoever thought forever could be severed by__  
><em>_The sharp knife of a short life oh Well,__  
><em>_I've had just enough time_

Ron had promised her his undying love after all of this. But ironically, the subject of his undying love was dead. But she felt guilty. She really didn't love Ron. He deserved someone better. Someone who did not love someone else. And she did not get what she wanted, so she had to settle for less. It stung lightly to think of Ron as less compared to Harry, but it was true.

But she had been killed. By magic. And a distant relative of his to boot. It would kill him. But at least she had her mark on the world. But she never be more than, _Hermione Granger, Best Friend of the Boy-Who-Lived._ It would never be _Hermione Granger-Potter, Best Friend and Wife of the Boy-Who-Lived._ History would only see her as that.

* * *

><p><em>So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls<em>_  
><em>_what I never did is done_

Her funeral would not be extravagant. Harry and the boys would wear their suits, and she would be outfitted in satin and in pearls, looking her very best, but she was dead. And all those things she could've done will remain undone….

_A penny for my thoughts,__  
><em>_Oh no,__  
><em>_I'll sell em' for a dollar__  
><em>_They're worth so much more after I'm a goner__  
><em>_and maybe then you'll hear the words I've been singing__  
><em>_funny when you're dead how people start listenin'_

And maybe people would finally realize how a person lurked behind all her knowledge. A person with feelings. A person that heard all the harsh words & took them to heart. Now that she was gone, people would see her. The real her. But it was Harry who saw the real her first, and was still willing to be her friend. Maybe they'd see her true feelings. Maybe they'd listen, and understand.

_Uh oh (uh, oh)__  
><em>_The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)__  
><em>_Go with peace and love__  
><em>_Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket__  
><em>_Save them for a time when you're really gonna need 'em, oh_

But they didn't need to cry. She wasn't worth anyone's tears. She wanted them to live their lives happily, and maybe, at some point in their lives, remember her and be able to smile. She wasn't worth mourning for. After all, she was but a simple girl. They'd cry when something was truly amiss.

_The sharp knife of a short life, oh well__  
><em>_I've had just enough time__  
><em>_So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls__…_

* * *

><p>She snapped out of her trance as someone shook her ferociously. "Hermione! Hermione!" Harry called loudly, trying to rouse her from whatever was keeping her unconscious. He was doing his rounds, checking if everyone was okay when he spotted her lying there, as if she was dead. Thankfully, her eyelids fluttered, and he glimpsed a pair of chocolate brown eyes he had loved even from the beginning.<p>

"Wha?" she asked, disoriented, focusing on Harry's panicked face, which melted into relief. "You scared me!" he scolded, cradling her in his arms. "What happened?" he asked, tucking a strand of brown hair, behind her ear. "Bellatrix nearly killed me," she said feebly.

"Well she can't do you any harm now," he said with conviction. She smiled; it was like a dream, in his arms, felling protected and safe. "I love you, she whispered almost inaudibly and fell asleep. "I love you more," came the unexpected whisper that set her heart ablaze.


End file.
